The Journal (Part 2)

I had my doubts when I started blogging, and I had doubts when my therapist suggested to start a journal…  You can read about that previous post here.

        So many things have passed in my since my missed opportunity at a seasonal job… But I did managed to write on my journal, as promised my therapist did not insist on reading it.  Which I’m very glad.  As for what I started writing there was hard.  I opened up in the first pages and I almost pulled out those pages.  It was not easy to write them, and it was not easy to read them.  But I felt hope; somehow that even though I have been threw a lot, I’m still here…   And that was enough.  

         As for the job, my therapist said; “Don’t be so hard on yourself! It was not meant for you.  When things are for you, no matter what you do; nothing will get in your way” . Then she asked me “Besides are you really ready to work? Do you feel okay with it”?  That left me thinking and I pulled my journal and wrote, “Am I really ready for a job?  Dealing with people, emotions, drama etc.?  Do I have the strength and will to handle situations?

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But going back on what my therapist asked, I felt angry.  I wanted her to feel some sympathy at least,  her job is to help me heal and comfort me.  Why couldn’t she put herself in my shoes for a moment?  Of course she wouldn’t understand; she has a great job, she earns a lot.  Then I asked myself does she even care at all?  Can I trust her? I know she tried to give me a {Little advice} but I did not felt it was the moment.  Then here I go again thinking that I expect too much of people.   

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I’m still writing in my journal, but I don’t know how I feel about my therapist anymore… Should I confront here?  Or should I just simple change her?  Let me know below…